Yesterday's morning was one of those mornings
when you wake up and you don't even know what
you want to do with your life. Those mornings you
would come up from your bed, pick up a kitchen
stool sit in the veranda and wonder if you had any
dreams last night, if it was Chinwe that was
romancing you in your dream or Ifunanya that
bought you a wrist watch.
I merely brushed my teeth and strolled out to awhen you wake up and you don't even know what
you want to do with your life. Those mornings you
would come up from your bed, pick up a kitchen
stool sit in the veranda and wonder if you had any
dreams last night, if it was Chinwe that was
romancing you in your dream or Ifunanya that
bought you a wrist watch.
popular spot where the guys in my hood normally
met to sample passing girls, discuss the games
they were going to stake on or talk about how
posh their wedding in Dubai will be when they
can't even afford a plate of rice for their girlfriends.
I sat in the company of some guys who like me
had nothing to do that morning. They were talking
about how Manchester United destroyed their
various tickets. I was just there listening and
hissing.
Like 5 minutes after i got there. Across the road
from where we sat, a fight was about to break out
between two teenage girls, one was light skinned
and the other was Chocolate. We paid little
attention to them. Everybody had his own problem.
I Managed to grab some words from their vulgar
exchange. They were fighting over some guy.
Before long, they were both pulling at each other.
They had no hair on their head so they resorted to
pulling on their clothes. I was expecting the guys
with me to go and do something, instead they sat
and just stared at them while they continued
calling on their village deities on man u's head. Me
too, i stared on like i was live on MONDAY NIGHT
RAW.
"I swear that girls breast has stretch marks" one of
the guys with me shouted.
As if on cue, the chocolate girl tore at the light
skinned girls top and a part of her breast showed.
There were clear marks on it.
The guys shouted Heeeeey.
I looked at the guy and asked him how he knew
about the stretch mark.
"Guy you be learner o, So u no know say na
because of me them dy fight" the guy told me with
a thick mark of indifference on his face. I looked at
him with utter disbelief, got up, wiped the dust
from my trouser and left them. I looked once more
at the girls, they were already as dirty as they can
be and were pinning each other on the electric
pole. I could hear the guys change their topic.
They were talking about stealing the wire on the
pole since nepa hardly brought light.
I hissed and continued on my way to Ifunanya's
house. My dreams usually come true and i needed
that watch.
Konji is a bastard son of a thousand fathers.
So i was in a bus on my way to the market to buy
a trouser for church service. The next day being
Sunday and i needed to look good for that girl that
had caught my eyes since the first day i saw her.
My Facebook messenger binged. I opened it and it
was my new Ghana girl. She said hi, i said hello.
We started our usual chats. I usually don't like
going far with girls that i'm sure wont be of any
benefit to me. So our chat was mainly about what
she ate, how she ate, the color of what she ate and
who cooked what she ate. You know the usual
Facebook chat.
So i decide to check out her Facebook photos
once more. I saw she had uploaded new pictures.
These ones were clearer than the ones she
uploaded in the past.
I seemed to notice that all her features were
clearer here and she has joined Facebook bad
gang. The ones that purposely flash their boobs
and booty at the camera. My Hot mind set it.
So i decided to take the convo deeper.
Me: so what are you doing?
Her: I'm about to take my bath, u?
Me: well, am on my way to the market. So can i
join you in the bath?
Her: sure, i will increase the bath water.
Me: just pull off and wait for me.
Her: kk, I'm waiting boo......
...........
The convo got more kinky. My joystick had already
tripled in size. We were both enjoying ourselves.
We were at the peak of it all when the bus came to
a halt. My joystick was still as hard as olumo
rock. I looked up from my phone and everybody
was alighting from the bus. I noticed i had gotten
where i was supposed to get down. The conductor
looked at me.
Me: I never reach my bus stop naa
Conductor: Oga na here we dy stop o.
I looked at him with sweat all over me and
observed my joystick,. In my mind i was like "Oga
go down naa".
Only God knows how i managed to leave there that
day with my Attention.
These days. I have learnt to pocket my phone
anytime I'm in a bus...
So i was in a bus on my way to the market to buy
a trouser for church service. The next day being
Sunday and i needed to look good for that girl that
had caught my eyes since the first day i saw her.
My Facebook messenger binged. I opened it and it
was my new Ghana girl. She said hi, i said hello.
We started our usual chats. I usually don't like
going far with girls that i'm sure wont be of any
benefit to me. So our chat was mainly about what
she ate, how she ate, the color of what she ate and
who cooked what she ate. You know the usual
Facebook chat.
So i decide to check out her Facebook photos
once more. I saw she had uploaded new pictures.
These ones were clearer than the ones she
uploaded in the past.
I seemed to notice that all her features were
clearer here and she has joined Facebook bad
gang. The ones that purposely flash their boobs
and booty at the camera. My Hot mind set it.
So i decided to take the convo deeper.
Me: so what are you doing?
Her: I'm about to take my bath, u?
Me: well, am on my way to the market. So can i
join you in the bath?
Her: sure, i will increase the bath water.
Me: just pull off and wait for me.
Her: kk, I'm waiting boo......
...........
The convo got more kinky. My joystick had already
tripled in size. We were both enjoying ourselves.
We were at the peak of it all when the bus came to
a halt. My joystick was still as hard as olumo
rock. I looked up from my phone and everybody
was alighting from the bus. I noticed i had gotten
where i was supposed to get down. The conductor
looked at me.
Me: I never reach my bus stop naa
Conductor: Oga na here we dy stop o.
I looked at him with sweat all over me and
observed my joystick,. In my mind i was like "Oga
go down naa".
Only God knows how i managed to leave there that
day with my Attention.
These days. I have learnt to pocket my phone
anytime I'm in a bus...
On this Friday i just needed to vent. You know that
moment when all of your body itches you and you
just don't know why. Nothing seems to interest
you and you just feel weak. So I was in this
particular mood that day.
I needed to let it out on someone. And was
looking for a prey.
My whatsapp binged. I took a look and it was
Chinaza, my girlfriend. Finally, a victim.
We started our chat. I have to confess, i was quite
annoying but she persisted. Maybe that's why
she's my main chick. She cares a lot.
I was determined to vent all my anger on her. So
as i was going hard on her. I guess she figured
out something was wrong and started to pet me,
asking what the matter was. I kept maintaining
nothing was wrong while being a total Sadist.
A while later when she probably got tired, she
called my phone.
Her: what's wrong?
Me: i told you nothing was wrong naa
Her: are you sure?
Me: yea. Was that why you called?
Her: not really
Me: so?
Her: well, i didn't see my period
Me: who did you give it to?
Her: you.
Me: Really?
Her: be serious for once naa.
Something hit me on my mind immediately. It
dawned on me that she said just she didn't see her
period. The implications seemed to simmer into
my head. I pause and continued, this time with
much concern in my voice.
Me: how come, did you check well, i mean is your
period supposed to start now?
Her: yea. Its 3 days late and i'm scared like this o.
By this time, my voice was real shaky. I couldn't
even afford a condom talk more of affording a
baby.
Me: But i have always been careful naa. How
come?
Her: i don't know o. Shey i told you to buy
condom that day but you were too drunk to care.
Me: nawa o. Baby are you sure?
Her:Nop, i'm not sure, i just like it more when you
are scared than when you are angry. Just buy me
a sanitary pad when coming. Love you. Bye bye.
She laughed hard and dropped the phone. By this
time i had totally forgotten i was feeling somehow.
That girl shaa. She is crazy but i think thats why i
love her.
moment when all of your body itches you and you
just don't know why. Nothing seems to interest
you and you just feel weak. So I was in this
particular mood that day.
I needed to let it out on someone. And was
looking for a prey.
My whatsapp binged. I took a look and it was
Chinaza, my girlfriend. Finally, a victim.
We started our chat. I have to confess, i was quite
annoying but she persisted. Maybe that's why
she's my main chick. She cares a lot.
I was determined to vent all my anger on her. So
as i was going hard on her. I guess she figured
out something was wrong and started to pet me,
asking what the matter was. I kept maintaining
nothing was wrong while being a total Sadist.
A while later when she probably got tired, she
called my phone.
Her: what's wrong?
Me: i told you nothing was wrong naa
Her: are you sure?
Me: yea. Was that why you called?
Her: not really
Me: so?
Her: well, i didn't see my period
Me: who did you give it to?
Her: you.
Me: Really?
Her: be serious for once naa.
Something hit me on my mind immediately. It
dawned on me that she said just she didn't see her
period. The implications seemed to simmer into
my head. I pause and continued, this time with
much concern in my voice.
Me: how come, did you check well, i mean is your
period supposed to start now?
Her: yea. Its 3 days late and i'm scared like this o.
By this time, my voice was real shaky. I couldn't
even afford a condom talk more of affording a
baby.
Me: But i have always been careful naa. How
come?
Her: i don't know o. Shey i told you to buy
condom that day but you were too drunk to care.
Me: nawa o. Baby are you sure?
Her:Nop, i'm not sure, i just like it more when you
are scared than when you are angry. Just buy me
a sanitary pad when coming. Love you. Bye bye.
She laughed hard and dropped the phone. By this
time i had totally forgotten i was feeling somehow.
That girl shaa. She is crazy but i think thats why i
love her.
Recently i have been bored and that increased my
activities on facebook.
And so i met this new girl. Judging from her
pictures, she was posh in all ramifications. So we
got talking..
She was a jambite seeking admission into my
school. I smiled at the prospect of hanging out
with a jambito. I calculated they would be cheaper
to run around with.
Long story short, i asked her out. After much
whining and shakara from her, she accepted. We
fixed a date, . Exchanged numbers and started
looking forward to our meeting.
On a Monday afternoon like this, i was on my bed,
half sleeping and half recovering from the little
torment my babe, Chinaza gave me. That girl shaa.
My phone rang, i hurriedly picked and shouted a
coarse hello into the mouthpiece. A very
melodious female voice came up from the other
end.
Me: Hello, na who be this?
Caller: Hi, its Rita, remember?
Me: Rita kwa? Rita from where?
Caller: Hey, you've forgotten already? We were
supposed to be meeting today.
My head rang gbagam, i jumped up from my bed.
Me: yea Rita right, where are you now?
Rita: I'm about to leave my house. Just wanted to
make sure it's still going down.
Me:Ok, you can start coming, call me when you
get to the school gate.
Immediately we dropped the call. I quickly grabbed
my towel, ran into the bathroom, did a quick wash
up, i couldn't even remember if used soap or not.
I dressed up, picked my wallet, counted the 1000
naira notes inside, 5 in total. I slid the wallet in my
pocket and ran to James, my friends room. We
both lived in the same lodge. He had promised to
escort me.
He hurriedly dressed up. And we both left the
house. I ensured he had some money on him, just
in case.
We were in a keke headed for the school gate
when she called.
Me: Hey are you there yet?
Rita: Yea. We just dropped now.
Me: Ok. I will be there soon.
Then something like an audio flash back hit me.
Me: Did you say "we"
Rita: yea, i came with a friend, i didn't know the
way so i needed her to help out.
Me: Okay o. Just wait for me. I dropped the call.
James just looked at me with a wicked grin on his
face and said
"Guy, u don enter"
"Her friend better be cute too or i go just deny am
for there sharp sharp" i said as the keke dropped
us.
Locating them wasn't so hard. I observed her from
afar and her pictures didn't lie. She was as cute as
can be. Her friend too wasn't bad.
We approached them. Reintroduced ourselves.
James just focused on her friend who's name was
Cynthia.
So we moved into the nearest eatery. Got
ourselves a seat. Called the waiter. I was going to
order for snacks so i could at least have some
change in my pocket. Then James asked them to
make the order themselves. I just eyed him, he
smiled and smacked his lips.
"But get us chivita juice first and then take their
orders" James was still talking. I was graphically
dividing the money in my pocket with my
imaginary eyes.
The Juice came. We opened it, poured into our
various glasses, started sipping as the girls started
making their orders. Rita was representing their
interest.
"We'll both take fried rice and chicken with lots of
salad on it"
James who had his glass of juice on his lips
quickly dropped it on the table. My eyes tripled in
size.
"Wait, Bae are you two going to share the plate of
rice or what?"
I asked
"Noo, we are getting two" Rita replied. James
coughed
"Ok o" i said and faced my drink.
The waitress came back with two plates of
steaming fried rice and huge chicken wings. Only
God knows how i managed not to snatch the food
for them. As the waitress was leaving she called
after her and asked for two cups of ice cream.
I stepped hard on James feet under the table. He
looked at me and grabbed his glass of juice and
started gulping it.
As they were lazily eating their food. We started a
conversation. Her friend was a 100 level student of
mass communication in the school. While she was
also trying to get admitted into the Same mass
communication departmentWe talked for a long
while. When they were almost done with their food,
i got up and made my way to the rest room.
Counted my money again. Half cried for my life,
urinated and went back to the table only to be
welcomed by additional two cups of ice cream and
another Chivita juice. I looked at the door, the devil
inside me started advising me to make use of the
door but i just jejely strolled to our table and sat
down. James just managed to cover a good part of
his face with his hands and was convulsing with
laughter.
I just cleared my throat. Called the waitress to get
me the bill.
The bill arrived, 7,250 naira. I was really tempted
to yell at the girls but i managed to control my
emotions. I just pulled out the 5000 naira in my
pocket, handed it over to James alongside bill,
grabbed the new juice and poured a large quantity
of it in my glass, after all i was paying for it.
James completed the money and paid.
I looked at the girls who were still romancing their
food.
"well, you girls should just round up and let's get
going" i said
"We are through" Rita said and they both picked
their handbags.
I looked at their plate, the food was still a bit much
and the meat was scarcely touched.
I and James looked at each other with our mouths
open. I nodded and we all left the eatery.
"So when are we seeing you guys again?" James
asked as we got outside the eatery.
"well i will be coming to register for my post ume
in 2 weeks time. Maybe we can hook up again"
Rita said
"hope you guys will sleep over next time" james
was still asking
"Ermm, till then" Rita replied.
James nodded. He felt his pocket and said he
forgot his handkerchief inside. He went back
inside.
I flagged down a keke and they both entered. I
bade them farewell and asked the driver to move
before they would start expecting me to pay their
fare.
James came out with a nylon which i wasn't
bothered to check because i was fuming inside.
"Guy which kind wahala be this naa" i half
screamed as James approached me.
He looked at me and broke into a laughter.
"Guy those girls shaa, na your village people send
them like this" he said
"And remember you dy owe me 2,250 naira o"
I looked at him and hissed. He laughed and
suggested we stop a keke to take us back to our
lodge.
"Na your nyash you go use pay for the keke" i told
him
Shaa, we walked all the way to our lodge under the
hot sun.
Immediately we got back. I just crashed on my
bed.
James came into my room and grabbed my stove.
"Guy which level naa, wetin u wan use my stove
do" i asked him
"i wan use am cook, no worry, i go comot 250 for
the money wey you owe as compensation for the
kerosene" he laughed and left with my stove. I
hissed, got up from the bed and poured a small
quantity of Garri in a cup and headed to James
room to borrow sugar.
As i walked into his room, i saw him cooking the
remaining fried rice and chicken those girls had
left....
activities on facebook.
And so i met this new girl. Judging from her
pictures, she was posh in all ramifications. So we
got talking..
She was a jambite seeking admission into my
school. I smiled at the prospect of hanging out
with a jambito. I calculated they would be cheaper
to run around with.
Long story short, i asked her out. After much
whining and shakara from her, she accepted. We
fixed a date, . Exchanged numbers and started
looking forward to our meeting.
On a Monday afternoon like this, i was on my bed,
half sleeping and half recovering from the little
torment my babe, Chinaza gave me. That girl shaa.
My phone rang, i hurriedly picked and shouted a
coarse hello into the mouthpiece. A very
melodious female voice came up from the other
end.
Me: Hello, na who be this?
Caller: Hi, its Rita, remember?
Me: Rita kwa? Rita from where?
Caller: Hey, you've forgotten already? We were
supposed to be meeting today.
My head rang gbagam, i jumped up from my bed.
Me: yea Rita right, where are you now?
Rita: I'm about to leave my house. Just wanted to
make sure it's still going down.
Me:Ok, you can start coming, call me when you
get to the school gate.
Immediately we dropped the call. I quickly grabbed
my towel, ran into the bathroom, did a quick wash
up, i couldn't even remember if used soap or not.
I dressed up, picked my wallet, counted the 1000
naira notes inside, 5 in total. I slid the wallet in my
pocket and ran to James, my friends room. We
both lived in the same lodge. He had promised to
escort me.
He hurriedly dressed up. And we both left the
house. I ensured he had some money on him, just
in case.
We were in a keke headed for the school gate
when she called.
Me: Hey are you there yet?
Rita: Yea. We just dropped now.
Me: Ok. I will be there soon.
Then something like an audio flash back hit me.
Me: Did you say "we"
Rita: yea, i came with a friend, i didn't know the
way so i needed her to help out.
Me: Okay o. Just wait for me. I dropped the call.
James just looked at me with a wicked grin on his
face and said
"Guy, u don enter"
"Her friend better be cute too or i go just deny am
for there sharp sharp" i said as the keke dropped
us.
Locating them wasn't so hard. I observed her from
afar and her pictures didn't lie. She was as cute as
can be. Her friend too wasn't bad.
We approached them. Reintroduced ourselves.
James just focused on her friend who's name was
Cynthia.
So we moved into the nearest eatery. Got
ourselves a seat. Called the waiter. I was going to
order for snacks so i could at least have some
change in my pocket. Then James asked them to
make the order themselves. I just eyed him, he
smiled and smacked his lips.
"But get us chivita juice first and then take their
orders" James was still talking. I was graphically
dividing the money in my pocket with my
imaginary eyes.
The Juice came. We opened it, poured into our
various glasses, started sipping as the girls started
making their orders. Rita was representing their
interest.
"We'll both take fried rice and chicken with lots of
salad on it"
James who had his glass of juice on his lips
quickly dropped it on the table. My eyes tripled in
size.
"Wait, Bae are you two going to share the plate of
rice or what?"
I asked
"Noo, we are getting two" Rita replied. James
coughed
"Ok o" i said and faced my drink.
The waitress came back with two plates of
steaming fried rice and huge chicken wings. Only
God knows how i managed not to snatch the food
for them. As the waitress was leaving she called
after her and asked for two cups of ice cream.
I stepped hard on James feet under the table. He
looked at me and grabbed his glass of juice and
started gulping it.
As they were lazily eating their food. We started a
conversation. Her friend was a 100 level student of
mass communication in the school. While she was
also trying to get admitted into the Same mass
communication departmentWe talked for a long
while. When they were almost done with their food,
i got up and made my way to the rest room.
Counted my money again. Half cried for my life,
urinated and went back to the table only to be
welcomed by additional two cups of ice cream and
another Chivita juice. I looked at the door, the devil
inside me started advising me to make use of the
door but i just jejely strolled to our table and sat
down. James just managed to cover a good part of
his face with his hands and was convulsing with
laughter.
I just cleared my throat. Called the waitress to get
me the bill.
The bill arrived, 7,250 naira. I was really tempted
to yell at the girls but i managed to control my
emotions. I just pulled out the 5000 naira in my
pocket, handed it over to James alongside bill,
grabbed the new juice and poured a large quantity
of it in my glass, after all i was paying for it.
James completed the money and paid.
I looked at the girls who were still romancing their
food.
"well, you girls should just round up and let's get
going" i said
"We are through" Rita said and they both picked
their handbags.
I looked at their plate, the food was still a bit much
and the meat was scarcely touched.
I and James looked at each other with our mouths
open. I nodded and we all left the eatery.
"So when are we seeing you guys again?" James
asked as we got outside the eatery.
"well i will be coming to register for my post ume
in 2 weeks time. Maybe we can hook up again"
Rita said
"hope you guys will sleep over next time" james
was still asking
"Ermm, till then" Rita replied.
James nodded. He felt his pocket and said he
forgot his handkerchief inside. He went back
inside.
I flagged down a keke and they both entered. I
bade them farewell and asked the driver to move
before they would start expecting me to pay their
fare.
James came out with a nylon which i wasn't
bothered to check because i was fuming inside.
"Guy which kind wahala be this naa" i half
screamed as James approached me.
He looked at me and broke into a laughter.
"Guy those girls shaa, na your village people send
them like this" he said
"And remember you dy owe me 2,250 naira o"
I looked at him and hissed. He laughed and
suggested we stop a keke to take us back to our
lodge.
"Na your nyash you go use pay for the keke" i told
him
Shaa, we walked all the way to our lodge under the
hot sun.
Immediately we got back. I just crashed on my
bed.
James came into my room and grabbed my stove.
"Guy which level naa, wetin u wan use my stove
do" i asked him
"i wan use am cook, no worry, i go comot 250 for
the money wey you owe as compensation for the
kerosene" he laughed and left with my stove. I
hissed, got up from the bed and poured a small
quantity of Garri in a cup and headed to James
room to borrow sugar.
As i walked into his room, i saw him cooking the
remaining fried rice and chicken those girls had
left....
My father has always been like a trusted and
performing government to me, not for any reason
other than he pays my allowances as and at when
do.
My alert came in at the last Friday of the month so
i decided to flex it out the next Sunday. I invited
my girl over. She told me she would be coming
with a friend of hers.
Me: why naa, you want to add additional expenses
on my head abi?
Chinaza: nooo, bae you know i won't do anything
like that
Me: So why would you come with her? Abi you
want to find me a 2nd girlfriend?
Chinaza: you must be silly, i'm here saying you
are not even enough for me and you are talking
about sharing..
Me: Biko stop, lets not start fighting on the phone
because it is my airtime that you will be wasting.
Chinaza: Baby of course you know i don't like
fighting you on the phone, i will rather do it
physically where i can beat sense into you.
I laughed
Me: so be serious jare, why would you be coming
with someone extra.
Chinaza: Well, i'm bringing her for that your poke
noser of a friend, james who keeps following you
around. At least she will keep him busy, while i
will have you to my self alone.
Me: Hahahaha, ok naa. I hope she is not a glutton
or we will split the bill o.
Chinaza: stingy boy, as if we don't split the bills
before.
Me: You better look cuter than her or I'm going to
hand you over to James and rock her.
Chinaza: And you better have enough money on
you or I will be bringing my 2nd boyfriend along.
crazy girl
Sunday came, by 2pm i was already out of the
house with my usual culprit, James. We were
headed for an open air restaurant. I called my
babe, she was still taking her bath. Good news for
us. We decided to sample the available girls.
My eyes caught one pretty looking girl. She was
seated alone. I quickly dropped James and walked
to her.
"Hmmm, i think its soothing to find out that I'm
not the only one without company" i said pulling a
seat and joining her table.
She looked at me and smiled and faced her phone
again.
"even though i'm already seated, i'm still going to
ask, can i join you?
"Umm, i guess yes" she said smiling at me.
We got talking. Her name was sandra, she was
waiting for a friend of hers. I decided should her
friend come, to invite James over. I needed to
know this girl.
My phone vibrated. I took a look and it was
James. I stared in his direction. He was already on
his second bottle of Heineken and was flashing his
teeth at me.
I opened my whatsapp and texted him.
"Guy i hope those two bottles are not on my
account o"
"Before nko, na your papa carry me come here?"
he replied
I just sent him hmmm and focused back on my
new friend. I ordered ordered two bottles of
smirnoff for her and two bottles of Heineken for
me. I cannot be buying Heineken for James and be
drinking Malt. Its my money after all.
We were still talking before my phone rang again, i
looked and it was James. I looked at him again
and he was on his 3rd bottle. He was asking me
to come over. I eyed him and continued my convo.
He walked up to me, said hello to the girl and
faced me.
"Guy, the door dy crowded o"
I looked at the door and my girl was there. She
didn't see me, thank God. She was focused on her
phone.
I quickly excused myself, James kept my new
catch company to my utter dismay. That guy is
capable of anything. I was praying he doesn't lie to
her that he was the one paying for the drinks or
order another one.
I approached my girl, she was really looking
sweet.
"So who delayed you today?, were you counting
beans for your mother " i asked her.
She hugged me and smiled
"sorry boo, i was waiting for my friend who said
she was bringing another friend of hers" she said
smiling
My face froze. I looked at her with a deep frown on
my face
"Did you say her friend?"
"Yea baby, whats wrong with your face?
"Abeg stop all this baby thing, anytime you want to
misbehave, you start looking for who to call baby"
"Babe chill naa, you know i won't let you bear the
pains alone"
"Abi, lets go before this Stupid James buys drinks
for everybody here with my money"
We walked up to James and our new friend and i
wasn't disappointed. James was on his 4th bottle
of Heineken and Sandra was taking her 3rd bottle
of smirnoff.
"Hey, our girl is here" James half screamed, he
was obviously getting drunk.
They exchanged pleasantries.
"So sandra meet my guy's most beautiful girl,
Chinaza, and chinaza meet my new friend, Sandra"
James introduction was totally inspired by alcohol.
Chinaza ignored him, looked at sandra and smiled.
"So Ada i was waiting for you in the house and
you ran here before me enjoying yourself naa"
Chinaza said grabbing a seat.
I just stood stupefied. James was just looking at
me with his mouth open.
I sat down. Looked at Sandra who was now
smiling and turned to my girl.
"So this is the friend you were waiting for? I asked
her.
She laughed and Said yes. I was really confused
and heartbroken. Now James was going to enjoy
the girl i bought drinks for.
I became confused on whether to freak out on the
new drinks James ordered or to be happy Chinaza
lied about her friend bringing another friend. Well
shaa, i just bought more drinks.
We did have fun. That is, drunk people's fun. After
about 2 to 3 bottles, i was motivated to buy more
drinks and well peppered chicken wings. Men that
Sandra girl is qualified to be called a village
drunkard.
As we were talking and enjoying ourselves,
Sandra's phone rang.
Sandra: Hello babe, just walk in, you will see us.
She cut the call and said that's her friend coming
in. Apparently Chinaza didn't lie, Her friend was
bringing another friend.
I was financially drained that day, spent so much
that my Girl was the one that paid for our transport
home that day. Even James too felt the heat.
But the after party was just like an after party. Fun
was the name. I don't need to tell you what a
drunk girl can do. Chinaza was just a sweetheart.
Their friend was Hot personified. Her name was
Juliet.
While my baby was fixing us dinner in the kitchen,
i was busy playing Romeo with Juliet. We were all
drunk, my girl didn't mind.
Chinaza was drunk but not too drunk to share me
with anybody.
She slept between me and Juliet. We went to bed
by 2 am in the morning. Something happened on
the bed between me, chinaza and Juliet. I can't
remember but maybe Juliet knows.
Don't bother asking Chinaza or You will be getting
a story from me about our divorce.
And did i say she didn't share me that night, lol.
Am only BROKE not a CELIBATE.
performing government to me, not for any reason
other than he pays my allowances as and at when
do.
My alert came in at the last Friday of the month so
i decided to flex it out the next Sunday. I invited
my girl over. She told me she would be coming
with a friend of hers.
Me: why naa, you want to add additional expenses
on my head abi?
Chinaza: nooo, bae you know i won't do anything
like that
Me: So why would you come with her? Abi you
want to find me a 2nd girlfriend?
Chinaza: you must be silly, i'm here saying you
are not even enough for me and you are talking
about sharing..
Me: Biko stop, lets not start fighting on the phone
because it is my airtime that you will be wasting.
Chinaza: Baby of course you know i don't like
fighting you on the phone, i will rather do it
physically where i can beat sense into you.
I laughed
Me: so be serious jare, why would you be coming
with someone extra.
Chinaza: Well, i'm bringing her for that your poke
noser of a friend, james who keeps following you
around. At least she will keep him busy, while i
will have you to my self alone.
Me: Hahahaha, ok naa. I hope she is not a glutton
or we will split the bill o.
Chinaza: stingy boy, as if we don't split the bills
before.
Me: You better look cuter than her or I'm going to
hand you over to James and rock her.
Chinaza: And you better have enough money on
you or I will be bringing my 2nd boyfriend along.
crazy girl
Sunday came, by 2pm i was already out of the
house with my usual culprit, James. We were
headed for an open air restaurant. I called my
babe, she was still taking her bath. Good news for
us. We decided to sample the available girls.
My eyes caught one pretty looking girl. She was
seated alone. I quickly dropped James and walked
to her.
"Hmmm, i think its soothing to find out that I'm
not the only one without company" i said pulling a
seat and joining her table.
She looked at me and smiled and faced her phone
again.
"even though i'm already seated, i'm still going to
ask, can i join you?
"Umm, i guess yes" she said smiling at me.
We got talking. Her name was sandra, she was
waiting for a friend of hers. I decided should her
friend come, to invite James over. I needed to
know this girl.
My phone vibrated. I took a look and it was
James. I stared in his direction. He was already on
his second bottle of Heineken and was flashing his
teeth at me.
I opened my whatsapp and texted him.
"Guy i hope those two bottles are not on my
account o"
"Before nko, na your papa carry me come here?"
he replied
I just sent him hmmm and focused back on my
new friend. I ordered ordered two bottles of
smirnoff for her and two bottles of Heineken for
me. I cannot be buying Heineken for James and be
drinking Malt. Its my money after all.
We were still talking before my phone rang again, i
looked and it was James. I looked at him again
and he was on his 3rd bottle. He was asking me
to come over. I eyed him and continued my convo.
He walked up to me, said hello to the girl and
faced me.
"Guy, the door dy crowded o"
I looked at the door and my girl was there. She
didn't see me, thank God. She was focused on her
phone.
I quickly excused myself, James kept my new
catch company to my utter dismay. That guy is
capable of anything. I was praying he doesn't lie to
her that he was the one paying for the drinks or
order another one.
I approached my girl, she was really looking
sweet.
"So who delayed you today?, were you counting
beans for your mother " i asked her.
She hugged me and smiled
"sorry boo, i was waiting for my friend who said
she was bringing another friend of hers" she said
smiling
My face froze. I looked at her with a deep frown on
my face
"Did you say her friend?"
"Yea baby, whats wrong with your face?
"Abeg stop all this baby thing, anytime you want to
misbehave, you start looking for who to call baby"
"Babe chill naa, you know i won't let you bear the
pains alone"
"Abi, lets go before this Stupid James buys drinks
for everybody here with my money"
We walked up to James and our new friend and i
wasn't disappointed. James was on his 4th bottle
of Heineken and Sandra was taking her 3rd bottle
of smirnoff.
"Hey, our girl is here" James half screamed, he
was obviously getting drunk.
They exchanged pleasantries.
"So sandra meet my guy's most beautiful girl,
Chinaza, and chinaza meet my new friend, Sandra"
James introduction was totally inspired by alcohol.
Chinaza ignored him, looked at sandra and smiled.
"So Ada i was waiting for you in the house and
you ran here before me enjoying yourself naa"
Chinaza said grabbing a seat.
I just stood stupefied. James was just looking at
me with his mouth open.
I sat down. Looked at Sandra who was now
smiling and turned to my girl.
"So this is the friend you were waiting for? I asked
her.
She laughed and Said yes. I was really confused
and heartbroken. Now James was going to enjoy
the girl i bought drinks for.
I became confused on whether to freak out on the
new drinks James ordered or to be happy Chinaza
lied about her friend bringing another friend. Well
shaa, i just bought more drinks.
We did have fun. That is, drunk people's fun. After
about 2 to 3 bottles, i was motivated to buy more
drinks and well peppered chicken wings. Men that
Sandra girl is qualified to be called a village
drunkard.
As we were talking and enjoying ourselves,
Sandra's phone rang.
Sandra: Hello babe, just walk in, you will see us.
She cut the call and said that's her friend coming
in. Apparently Chinaza didn't lie, Her friend was
bringing another friend.
I was financially drained that day, spent so much
that my Girl was the one that paid for our transport
home that day. Even James too felt the heat.
But the after party was just like an after party. Fun
was the name. I don't need to tell you what a
drunk girl can do. Chinaza was just a sweetheart.
Their friend was Hot personified. Her name was
Juliet.
While my baby was fixing us dinner in the kitchen,
i was busy playing Romeo with Juliet. We were all
drunk, my girl didn't mind.
Chinaza was drunk but not too drunk to share me
with anybody.
She slept between me and Juliet. We went to bed
by 2 am in the morning. Something happened on
the bed between me, chinaza and Juliet. I can't
remember but maybe Juliet knows.
Don't bother asking Chinaza or You will be getting
a story from me about our divorce.
And did i say she didn't share me that night, lol.
Am only BROKE not a CELIBATE.
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